Miscarriage and grief are personal to the individual. Whether you choose to share this with others is 100% your decision.
There is no easy way of sharing this news. It will be difficult whether or not you have already announced the pregnancy.
You should not feel obliged to share this news if you’d rather not. If you have already announced your pregnancy, however, it may be better to tell people about your miscarriage before they ask. If you’d prefer, you could ask your partner, a friend, or a family member to let people know.
Should I tell my family and friends about my miscarriage?
Even if you don’t want to share this news widely, you may want to tell your immediate family and close friends. It might be a good idea to tell one or two select people so that you can benefit from their love and support during this difficult time.
Do I need to tell my co-workers about my miscarriage?
You may not want to announce your miscarriage widely in your place of work. It may be beneficial, however, to tell your line manager or HR person, so that they can be understanding of your needs.
You may need to take time off during the miscarriage itself. And it’s normal for women to take time off to recuperate physically and to come to terms with the news.
Perhaps there will be times when you struggle upon your return to work. Having at least one or two people who are aware of what happened can be useful.
Sharing the news
If you choose to share the news of your miscarriage with others, you may find that once you start telling people, you will be overwhelmed by how many people have been through the same thing and are keeping this a secret.
Sharing the news of a miscarriage by talking about it with trusted friends and colleagues has helped some women deal with returning to work during this difficult time. Some have also found that they helped other people who had secretly been in a similar situation.
Still, if you don’t want people to know, it’s okay to put your needs first. Sharing the news may be painful, especially in the immediate aftermath. While sharing can be helpful, don’t feel pressured to do so if you will feel very uncomfortable, you think it will affect your work, or you are not ready.