Living with parental grief might seem overwhelming, but it’s possible. It is important that you try to be optimistic yet realistic. You’re not expected to forget the loss of your child. However, you’ll survive it, even as it changes you.
As you undergo each season, each holiday, each sad or happy occasion that triggers an additional wave of grief, you’ll gain strength and better tools for handling the pain.
Do not hide from feelings of guilt
After the loss of a child, you are likely to be experiencing feelings of guilt. These are normal. It is helpful to confront and confess them.
Assess the reality of how the pregnancy was lost, as well as your real actions and intentions at the time. In almost all cases, people gradually see their actions and reactions in a more realistic and, therefore, positive light. You should acknowledge but forgive yourself for any ways in which you may not have been perfect.
Take baby steps
After the loss of a child, it’s critical that you break down the future into increments. If necessary, do this one day or one hour at a time.
Concentrate on activities. Do the laundry. Feed the cat. Focusing on normal, everyday activities will very gradually help you bear the grief.
Acknowledge your feelings
Think about creating a journal in which you can write about your pregnancy and the hopes and dreams you had for your unborn son or daughter. You may consider writing a poem addressed to him or her, or simply acknowledging your current feelings.
You might not feel prepared to do this immediately, but know that some people find comfort and release in doing this kind of thing in the earlier days after a miscarriage. Every person is individual. If something is not right for you, it’s okay to stop or look at another area.
If you don’t like the idea of keeping a journal, it’s worth considering joining a support group, talking to a professional, or family and friends. The important thing is to acknowledge and share your feelings. This can be transformative and set you on the long path to healing.
Surviving the loss of a child means making a commitment to live your life. You must make a new dedication to living, as impossible or difficult as it might seem. This doesn’t happen all at once. Keep going, one day at a time. You’ll not only survive this, but the experience will make you stronger.